For those of you who didn't know:
Brett is in school again.
Yes, again.
Brett got into a very elite Anesthesia program at Westminster College in Salt Lake City. It's the only program in Utah. He started thinking about going back to school in the spring of last year. He found out that it was too late to apply for that fall (Sept. 2009) but could apply for 2010. About 1 month later, the Westminster called and said one of their 15 students had dropped out because of a family emergency and asked if he would like to apply.
We had a big decision to make.
Going to Westminster meant paying the big bucks. It's a private school and very expensive. Going to Westminster also meant Brett being gone off-and-on for 15 months for clinical training.
On the other hand, going to Westminster meant starting now-- and being done a whole year earlier. It also meant being able to stay close to my wonderful family, friends, ward, and neighborhood. It meant the kids get to go to their great school and stay with their awesome piano teacher, family and friends. It means having the support of all of those wonderful people in my life while Brett is gone off-and-on for those 15 months.
So, we prayed about it.....
And, we felt good about it.
So, we did it.
Brett started school in September 2009. Talk about intense!!! There are only 15 people in his whole class- 15! Those who want to stay in the program have to keep above an 84% in each class or they get put on probation and have to retake the whole semester. No pressure, right? On top of all this, Brett was still going to work half-time. He's the only one in his class with a job.
Well, at no shock to anyone who knows Brett well, he passed his first semester with flying colors and did wonderfully. He met a couple of good guys to carpool with that live down in this area and has become great friends with them. We even had them over for dinner over the Christmas break and it was nice to meet them, their wives and their families.
Before school started, Brett talked a little about the applying to the Air Force. At first, I was not so hip with this idea. But, after seeing how excited Brett was about it (and thinking in my own mind that it probably wouldn't happen-- I know: LAME!) I went along. He decided to go out for a medical scholarship they offer to 5 people in the nation.
Yes, I said, 5.
In the nation.
This medical scholarship is pretty sweet. They pay for your school. All of it. They also give you a monthly stipend to help with expenses. In return for this scholarship, we would agree to work for the Air Force for 3 years after Brett graduates. We would go where ever they needed us.
This in itself, was not something I really wanted to consider.
Moving was not an option.
But, it was a long shot at even getting the scholarship. And plus, we both love this area and don't really want to move. And come on......., 5 in the whole country? Brett's awesome at what he does, but doesn't flaunt it. The odds were stacked against him. But his resume packs a pretty mean punch, too. It was a long shot at getting this scholarship. But, to appease my worry-wart mind, I just pushed the thought of moving away and focused on just getting the scholarship, and then going from there. In my mind we had a good chance of getting it and a less of a chance of not. But, to be quite honest, I was glad it was a such long shot. Not getting it wouldn't devastate me. We would have to give up too much. Even though the scholarship was a slammin' deal, the price we would have to pay was just too high.
Let me explain:
First of all, when you're in any part of the Armed Forces (bless their souls), there is a higher chance of death. That is just the way things go. Of course, Brett would not be fighting on the front lines, or flying any airplanes.....He might be flying in an airborne hospital......(I'm trying not to think about that right now). He would go into the Air Force as a Captain, working in a hospital somewhere.
But, there are psycho's at hospital's too.
So, that was my biggest worry about the Air Force.
Not to mention:
1)- Us HAVING to do whatever the Air Force tells us to do, go where they tell us to go, no questions asked.
2)- Brett possibly getting called up. He would serve 6 months at a time. He could be called up once a year for those 3 years.
3)- There is not really a chance of us being able to stay here after school is over. Our 3 years will be spent in another state.
4)- Remember all those things we'd be leaving that I listed above? Ya. It's a lot to leave behind.
On the other hand.....
1)- If we funded this schooling all ourselves, by the time we were done, we'd be in debt about $130,000. I know. Ridiculous.
2)- I have secretly always wanted to move away and be out on our own, but.....not enough to actually do it. The opportunity has never really presented itself.
In the midst of us trying to make this decision without knowing if we had gotten the scholarship, we got a phone call.
Brett got the scholarship.
Yes, he got it!
Wow!
Flattered? Yes.
Scared? Yes.
Excited? Brett, yes. Me, not so much.......it's the whole pro's and con's thing...I know, I'm a wimp!
So, after heavily weighing the pro's and con's and many, many talks we decided not to take the scholarship. Brett would have jumped at the chance to do it if he was a single guy. But with a worrying wife and a family to support, it was just to much stress-- for me. Then I felt selfish for 'robbing' Brett of something he really wanted to do because of my being scared. After agonizing over this decision we decided that the price we had to pay to accept the Air Force scholarship was too high. It was a wonderful thing, but we would just be giving up too much. So, we decided to fund it ourselves, do it on our own.
Now, this is the wonderful part of this story. How awesome is it that we can pray to the God of this Universe? How incredible is it that he hears our prayers? And even better: he answers them! Brett and I knelt down together and prayed about our decision to not take the Air Force scholarship. We ended our prayer and felt fine.
That's it. Just fine.
And fine was ok with me. I was ready to go eat dinner. But then Brett said, "Let's test it out. Let's ask about the Air Force and see if we get a 'no' answer."
I said, "No."
Is that horrible of me? I said, "No, I do not want to pray about the Air Force." Then the flood-gates let loose-- I was afraid of the answer we would get. I was afraid Heavenly Father would tell us to take the scholarship and join the Air Force.
All of you women have to know the dilemma I was feeling in my mind at that moment:
I know that Heavenly Father knows all. I know this. I know he wants us to be happy. I know he wants us to grow. I know he wants to bless us. I know he wants us to bless and help others. I know he loves my husband and my children and wants the best for them, too. I know all of these things and so if he said to take the scholarship, with all those things in mind, of course; YES! I would do it.
But, I have my pride. What about what I want? I don't want to move. I don't want to leave my parents, my grandparents, my wonderful in-laws and brothers and sisters. I don't want to leave my friends, ward, neighborhood, school, piano teacher, mountains, snow at Christmas-time, nice neighbors security bubble.
But, He knows all and He knows best. I know this.
So, after I let go of my pride and could really pray with real intent (which includes being willing to do whatever the answer to the prayer is) we knelt to pray again.
After the first few sentences of that prayer were said, I felt an overwhelming amount of peace. I felt comforted, I felt love and I knew that my husband was going to be a Captain in the Air Force.
And I was going to be an Air Force wife.
Brett and I both felt so much different from our first prayer, we knew that taking this opportunity and accepting the scholarship and joining the Air Force was the right thing to do.
And guess what? I am excited about it! Of course I'm sad to think about leaving everything we'll be leaving, but after receiving and answer like that, I cannot feel too bad. Heavenly Father told us that this was the right decision. I know that doesn't mean this is going to be easy. But, I know it will be best for our family and that is a good thing to know.
This gives our family a great opportunity. We've never been away and we've both secretly wanted to in some way. We will have a wonderful experience where ever we go and we're excited to be in the mission field. We will be sure to have a guest bedroom where ever we move, so please come and visit!
Brett graduates in 2 years, so we're still around until then. Don't write us off yet! In the meantime, Brett starts traveling for clinical rotations this fall. This has nothing to do with the Air Force, but is with his school. See, IHC has a huge monopoly over all the larger hospitals that do the higher trauma level cases. All the Anesthesiologists belong to the same group. They have a clause in their contract that says that no Nurse Anesthetists can learn there or even work there. I guess they're threatened by them. If your a hospital and trying to cut costs and you can hire a Nurse Anesthetist for 1/2 of what an Anesthesiologist makes, but they both do the same thing, who would you hire? So, that is why Westminster is the only school with a program in UT. That is why the U of U doesn't offer a program. But, it will all be worth it in the end. He'll be in TX for 4 months, American Fork, UT for 4 months, Blackfoot, ID for 2 months and Ogden for 4 months and a handful of other places a few weeks and months at a time.So, yes.....change it the spice of life. Sometimes too spicy for my liking, but our tastes can adjust and enjoy a little more spice than we're used to. That is my way of saying that I am excited for this new chapter in our lives. We'll see what it brings.
